I have a unique black love. My husband and I will have known each other for 12 years this August. We have grown as a unit and individually. We have unique. black. love. These three things operate in isolation and cohesively.

Let me explain.

Unique.

I met my husband as a fifth wheel. I had two friends who were dating two of his friends. While playing video games his best friend simply said to me ‘I got somebody you should meet’. At this point, I had relegated myself to be single for the rest of my life (in retrospect, I was 19 when I met my would-be husband). The day after his friend made this statement, I met him. I recall him being mute. The man didn’t speak! He recalls the story as if I was intentionally ignoring his presence and was also mute. I can not verify the accuracy of his recollection. That was August 2007. We’ve been attached at the hip ever since. I akin our unique black love to fungus. It just grew on us.

I akin our unique black love to fungus. It just grew on us.

February 2012, we married. We were young when we married. My family just KNEW I was pregnant when we decided in a haphazard way to get hitched. We woke up one day and had a conversation on the future of our relationship, and decided to get married. Then, we went down to city hall and learned that we had to wait 24 hours after we applied for our marriage certificate to get married. The next day, we were husband and wife. We went to eat steak with my dad and grandfather and then we went home and watched Maury. Later that year we had an AMAZING vow exchange and reception. As a result of that night, we can account for a marriage and a child of that union. YAY US!

(we still haven’t had a ‘formal’ honeymoon. but it’ll happen)

Also, we’re both weird. Our families and friends can vouch for this.

Black.

He and I are Black in America.

Love.

I will not entirely romanticize our love. Marriage has been an interesting experience of joy, sorrow, anguish, growth, and work. However, it’s been an amazing journey to be on with my partner. I love his investment in our family. His dedication to our daughter is unrivaled. Our current struggle is dedicating time to spend with each other once a week. Our schedules are conflicting and parenting makes spending quality time challenging. I have a reminder set on my phone that goes off daily to give him a compliment.

Do I do this? HELL NAW.

But when this post drops, I will commit to completing that reminder every day. We have been married for 7 years and some change. It has been a very insightful journey. I have learned that my partner encourages and nurtures my ambitions and interests, and I hope that I do the same in return. I have learned to let grace fill in the gaps. Love DOES NOT pay the bills as I would have hoped but we manage and his quiet strength fortifies me in moments where I can not find the strength in myself. This love has grown into a healthy plant that has bad days. By no means is it perfect. But it is ours. Our unique black love.

How have you shown your partner that you value your unique relationship?

Dassit,

Lina